Tim reads webcomics (October 23, 1010)
by Timofei
This one will be really short, mostly to piss off the folks who complain that my comments are too short.
Draw Until It’s Funny (21/10/2010)
Nope, still not funny.
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella (23/10/2010)
(click to see the full comic)
Sell it to The Monarch. He’s still using that shitty #24′s car, isn’t he?
VG Cats (18/10/2010)
(click to see the full comic)
This makes no sense whatsoever. Like, I can’t even hate this comic properly because I don’t understand any of the jokes.
Least I Could Do (21/10/2010)
(click to see the full comic. or better don't, because it sucks)
The latest LICD storyline is about fucking a midget. ‘Nuff said.
White Ninja Comics (20/10/2010)
But “the right to bear arms” is in the constitution!
55 comments
Far be it from me to defend VG Cats, it is horrible, but that comic you linked does make sense within the context of the game being spoofed. So if you don’t understand a comic’s jokes, look into it. Don’t just fall to ignorance.
AHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
White Ninja Comics are made in Canada they don’t kill people for sport, “the right to bear arms” is NOT in the constitution you smartass. They’re from Canada not from dumbfuckistan.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Mike: I know that VG Cats does make sense in some context, otherwise it wouldn’t have been made. I just remarked that it is totally incomprehensible to me, and that fact in and of itself was judged interesting enough by me to include it in today’s digest. Somebody should make vgcatsexplained for non-gamers so that we could also appreciate Scott Ramsoomair’s brilliant humor.
Oh god Tim, stop being an idiot. If you’re not a gamer, why even TRY to read something about games? You’re just asking to not understand. And even if you don’t, you make NO attempt to understand, and that’s the worst part.
You’re second rate, and gasping for anything to fuel a post here.
Well, people were requesting it. Stop being such a negative nancy! Actually, don’t. We love you anyway.
Really? You get requests for this?
Wow…my mind has been blown.
White Ninja is the best
The new VG Cats is retarded, but it’s not remotely incomprehensible. It makes perfect sense, and it conforms to a broadly joke-like structure.
Gotta agree with Mike, what’s the point if you’ll just say “well, I’m not a gamer, have no idea what’s going on here, woop-de-do”? Not that I did understand that at first, but just today my cousin explained the game really gets that crazy with the equipment.
But what I really wanted to say is that “the right to bear arms” made me lol.
I liked a lot the wonderella strip
I like your logic Timofei. What if Randall said, “This comic is going to be really shitty, mostly so I can piss off everyone who thinks my comics are shitty.” Then we would be left with pissed off people AND a shitty comic. The same goes for your “reviews.” Seriously, what is the point of writing “Nope, still not funny” with nothing else? It’s easy to say “THIS IS BAD” but not very interesting or meaningful unless you can say why, or at least elaborate a tiny bit. Try writing three complete sentences sometime.
>What if Randall said, “This comic is going to be really shitty, mostly so I can piss off everyone who thinks my comics are shitty.”
I think he already does that.
Back again. Hi.
You guys still suck.
Though I should look into White Ninja ’cause my posture is exactly the same as that guy’s.
“I’m not a gamer, but I get angry at gaming comics for not explaining the joke to me.”
I hope you realise just what an idiot you sound like.
More generally: XKCDsucks was consistently interesting and correct. Webcomics.me is consistently boring and ignorant/stupid. One more update as bad as this and I just won’t check it any more.
The VG Cats strip is actually pretty straightforward. It’s still lazy drek, but it’s not exactly a dense fog.
not sure how to pm you, don’t know if you would count this as a webcomic, but… http://what-do-you-do.net/
is pretty cool
Harashaw: except I missed the part where I get angry at VG Cats. When exactly did that happen? You do realize I put both good and bad comics in this column, and also some I’m completely indifferent about?
Thanks for reminding me to take another look at White Ninja. I really do not understand how that comic amuses me, but it totally does.
The comics I read, or at least *intend to read*, is rather larger than the subset that I actually keep up-to-date with. The only comics I read as they come out are The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, and The Angry Adventures of Rob and Aloria at xkcdsucks.
Oh my lawd, just got to White Ninja and the Deadly Owls. Why did I ever leave this comic behind!
I’ll never understand why people hate VG Cats. I love it. Also love Super Effective.
Tim, um, you mentioned that you can’t hate VG Cats properly, implying that you would like to hate it properly. That’s probably the mentioned “anger”. In no way was your sentence describing it positive or neutral.
I am a gamer, and i always have and probably always will hate VG cats. I don’t get the current comic (even though i do get that it is a spoof of some game) and i don’t want to get it. I know that after 30 minutes of figuring out what the fuck is going on, i will be sorely disappointed with a massive “oh.”
This happened to me recently when read a QC strip that featured the bean edamame. I was confused, i searched, i was severely let down. In fact, it almost seems like when you have to do research to understand a joke, the joke loses its punch. We might be on to something!
VG cats has a formula that goes like this: make an extremely obscure reference about something mainstream nerdy so when people get it they can feel smug that they are one of the cool kids who “gets it.” Surprise kool kidz; you are all smug idiots who can’t think beyond their neckbeards.
Tim, you almost bring as much hate as Carl, but not quite there. Bring it on you pansy-ass! This is a community of darth vaders; we all drink hatred here!
Mike’s right. Even if you never explicitly stated “I hate VG Cats”, you made it pretty clear that you’re not a fan.
How can people not get the VG Cats comic? It’s not high-brow but it is pretty funny and straightforward. For those who don’t get it:
Game is Dead Rising 2. Overall story of game is that you are desperately searching for a cure to your daughter’s zombie infection in a zombie-infested Vegas. Throughout the game, you get lots of urgent requests to help people close to death. Pretty bleak stuff, huh?
Except the game is also free-form, you can dress up in various costumes, do stupid shit, ride around on tricycles. The comic (along with the missing frame and the title “World’s Best Dad”) highlights this jarring inconsistency with the seriousness of the situation. That’s the joke, it’s not hard, it made me smile
Sure there are a lot of shitty VG Cats comics, and his update schedule is all over the place, but this one was a good one and if you don’t get it, well, not all comics are for everyone, I guess ;p
Oh my god, Wonderella is painful to read through.
It’s absolutely hilarious at first—bizarre situations involving not-quite-Wonder Woman, the occasional apparent use of webby slang as non sequitur, a lot of humourous insights into comics, but then…
Then you realise that in every single page, Wonderella speaks as if she’s a deviantART meme-ista from northern California.
I am sure I will be told to stop being whiny for this, but it is HELLA ANNOYING after four years of archives. Please for the love of god tell me that someone else has noticed this?
Yeah, it does start to grate.
Again we see shallow commentary from webcomics.me.
This is becoming a trend and is no better–and is in many ways significantly worse–than many of the comics that are being criticized. It’s just namecalling and quick one-liners without substance.
If you really want to make the claim that you are “serious about webcomics” then please, please show me that rather than merely *telling* me that you are while contradicting it with every post.
Can you imagine how awesome a “Penny Arcade Sucks” blog would have been, posting “don’t get it, this sucks” for every update for ten years? Someone should retroactively get right on that.
If you want to criticize VGcats, there’s way more ample fodder than the latest comic.
Examples:
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=270
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=192
I don’t really read it anymore, but it seems like he’s at least doing a little bit better with his latest work.
dude what do you think about homestuck/mspa?
i think it used to be absolutely wonderful, but in the last three or four months it has taken a SHARP turn down the shitter into “unreadable” territory. seriously, dude – you need to get on mspasucks.
DEATH TO MSPA!!!!!!
Carl I can only assume that you requested a review copy of Machine of Death
so where’s our review
P.S. The tag section on the far left is a useless piece of shit and you should delete it. It makes this blog look like it was made in grandma’s basement.
Apparently, though everyone seems to hate this blog, it has a pretty good clickthrough rate. As you can see, there’s been at least 650 clicks to see Wonderella comic, and the site ranks among its highest referrers for this week. Now if only Carl wrote updates more often.
Timofei,
Since you’re wielding a shotgun instead of only going after a single comic, you’re probably pissing off a substantially larger proportion of your audience than before. People that didn’t expect to be angry when they came here (unlike xkcd fanboys going to xkcdsucks).
Whatever though. Keep it up. Criticism is good.
Tim, we go here because we hate it. The hatred feeds us! MAKES US STRONGER!
Also the tag bit on the left side of the page is still making me silently rage.
The tag cloud. It so sucks, but primarily because Timmy here doesn’t use it. It would help if Tim used it and took the care to make sure it was used in the same manner as Carl did for his first post or two—that was actually really good documentation for finding material and smartly-done. Notice how there are more things in it than comic titles? YEAH, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
However, “because we hate it” has been a sufficient excuse for the entire history of xkcdsucks. As much as it pains me to say this, all the blog posts really need to do around here is contain a subject line and we’ll find something to talk about.
Now, the real question: would this do better as a forum? (The answer is “almost certainly”, but it’s hard to be sure.)
I’d be in favour of a forum.
A forum would be better. I check these comment threads as if they were forums already. We post most content than Tim does at this point!
On second thought, a forum format might detract from the whole “Tim says something, we all post about it” format. I suppose these blog posts could be the first post of a thread in a forum. In the end i’m sure Carl’s lazy whim will prevail.
FORUM!!! Also, the first three comments contained more content than the post in terms of number of sentences. That says something I think.
Well, one thing involved in transitioning to a forum format would be ensuring that we could start a fair number of threads without assistance from The Mans, by whom I mean Carl and Tim. Methinks Semicolons sees this, but really it’s already pretty damn democratic around here and there’s not much reason we shouldn’t go further with it.
As an example: the sudden declaration of hatred of MSPA is clearly something that can be maintained. So I guess that answers that question.
If we were to do a forum, would it make sense to sub-divide it into two sections? I’m thinking “serious, rigorous, formal critique” where Carl would post his style of material, and “venting about shitty comics” where we’d see more of Timofei’s style and a lot more trolling.
My problem is this: There isn’t much stuff about webcomics. Tim doesn’t post stuff other than the latest updates of random comics. It’s pretty dull and not worth the wait.
Carl’s posts are better, so far he’s just reviewed more xkcd, a bad Abstruse Goose, and Webcomic books. All of those are fine, but when I heard of this blog, I was thinking it would be more along the lines of reviewing and discussing webcomics.
I would be so much more absorbed into this site if Carl/anyone wrote posts about a webcomic in general rather than multiple at once for no reason. I liked Carl’s early posts, but it’s boring now.
For example, comments above have talked about how bad Homestuck has been getting. I disagree. Since there have been huge changes since Carl’s last posted analysis (predating this site) on it, why not write a post about that?
TL;DR: Instead of writing about random webcomic updates, write about webcomics.
Another, lazier alternative to a forum might be “whoever spews out the most insightful crap about comics in the comments section over the course of the next month gets promoted to blog author status.” Who knows! It might even happen!
I mean, in our lifetimes.
This ‘blog’ is just a links list… with the odd actual blog post thrown in every couple months or so :/
Still it’s led me to a couple comics that I enjoy (which, if I think about it, does nothing to improve my opinion regarding the quality of a supposed “hate” blog) so keep it up.
Also, your vaunted “link-through rate” very likely has exactly nothing to do with you or this blog in and of themselves, but mostly to do with the art displayed in the illustration being attractive or interesting enough to people to check it out. Just sayin’.
Hexadecima, that’s actually how everyone except Carl got involved at xkcdsucks and/or this blog. Therefore, I believe it’s safe to say that that policy is practically a cornerstone of the blog even though it hasn’t been explicitly stated.
Yeah, I’m aware, Lint—except it can’t be true otherwise Tim would never have gotten the job olololollol.
Even so, the process seriously needs to be extended further. This blog needs 10–15 people with posting abilities, not two or three. Otherwise it should be converted into a forum.
I propose that we spend all of the comments talking about this instead of responding to blog posts until something is done about the status quo. (Which is not, as Joss Whedon victims remind us, a quo status.)
how is vg cats bad at all? It has twisted humor a lot, and a lot of surreal’ness and videogame references, but how is that bad? Penny arcade has that too.
If you want to be an author, just send Carl an e-mail with your ideas and he’ll probably make you one. That’s exactly how I got the job
Oh, the new digest is on the way.
@Harry
This isn’t supposed to be a hate-blog.
I can’t believe how shitty Least I Could Do is. I mean, I actually almost liked Looking For Group at one point, early on!
This strip of LICD really showcases how terrible of a comic artist the artist is. It’s not like he’s a bad artist, but holy shit, either he’s terrible at COMICS or he’s receiving fantastically awful direction from the writer. Let’s break it down like a SWAT team through a door:
1. Some simple physical details are completely wrong. Critics of myself would say that I am being a nitpicker, but good god how is it not obvious that a doorknob goes on the part of the door FURTHEST from the door’s hinges? Here’s a real nitpick, though, to make you happy: It looks like there’s only one knob on the door. And what the hell is up with the door frame? For one thing, it’s the kind that holds TWO doors, like there sometimes are between hotel rooms (Sometimes there’s just one door, but not with a double frame. Sometimes there isn’t a door, but I wouldn’t know about hotels that nice). Clearly, the other door must be open… for some reason. And it must just be a mistake that the first panel makes the setting look like a hallway. Going back to the doorway, the “ripped the hinges out” effect looks more like a cross between water damage and someone having picked at the edges of the frame with a knife.
2. Cartoon physics are out of place, here. But there they are. Why? Is it funnier that this scenario is astoundingly impossible? Why not just fuck her off the bed onto the floor? It’s still not a funny joke to share (More of a funny “You had to be there” in-joke), but it stops the strip from being absurd-to-the-point-of-brain-death.
These confusing and retarded art-related features aren’t the biggest problem the strip has, of course.
2. The whole thing was just an excuse to use “Unintentional dwarf tossing” as a punchline, which apparently was a hilarious thing when Mr. Sohmer first thought of it. No. NO, Mr. Sohmer. BAD. You have the sense of humor of a child in middle school, except that kids can sometimes be really funny. And this isn’t a strip for the kiddies, because you have a naked woman being fucked in it. So he’s catering to an audience of, what? I don’t know. I don’t know how he has any audience. He certainly doesn’t have an audience of slightly bemused little people who look cute when they’re in a kerfluffle and have been thrown through a door.
The worst thing about the punchline is that it has such a tenuous connection to what just happened. There is a dwarf… check. Something unintentional happened… check, but that’s not actually part of the punchline. You cannot connect “tossing” to the scene in any way, and the cards collapse. This is a demonstration of Mr. Sohmer’s witty bedroom banter, perhaps.
Here’s a free one, man. You want to make a joke out of the HILARIOUS concept of “dwarf tossing”? Eat out a midget’s asshole. That would be a mildly clever way of doing it.
I mean 3.
Honestly speaking, you’re a pathetic excuse for a blogger.
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